Giving feedback is one of the most important skills at work, and one of the most avoided. Many of us delay difficult conversations, soften our message until it's meaningless, or deliver criticism in a way that leaves people defensive. Good feedback is a gift. It helps people grow and builds trust.
Start with intent
Before giving feedback, ask yourself: am I trying to help this person improve, or am I venting? Feedback with genuinely helpful intent tends to land better.
Be specific
"Good job" and "this needs work" are hard to act on. Instead, describe exactly what you observed: "In the client meeting, you summarised their concerns before presenting our plan. That really helped them feel heard." Or: "The report had several numbers that didn't match the source data."
Focus on behaviour, not personality
"You were late to three meetings this week" is something a person can change. "You're unreliable" feels like an attack on who they are.
Explain the impact
Help the person understand why it matters: "When the numbers don't match, the client starts to doubt the whole analysis."
Make it a conversation
Ask for their perspective. There may be context you don't know. "How did that meeting feel from your side?" can open a much more useful discussion.
Agree on next steps
End with something concrete: what they'll try, what support they need and when you'll check in.
Give positive feedback too
Recognising what's working is just as important as pointing out problems. Specific appreciation encourages people to keep doing what's effective, and makes constructive feedback easier to hear.
Timing and setting
Give feedback soon after the event, while it's fresh. Give critical feedback privately. Choose a calm moment rather than the middle of a stressful deadline.
Ask for feedback yourself
Leaders and colleagues who regularly ask "What could I do better?" create a culture where feedback flows in every direction, and where everyone gets better faster.